


Rain

by LeastExpected_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, First Time, M/M, Sex, Silmilarion-based
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-04
Updated: 2002-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:13:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26211727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist
Summary: By CCThis would be the reason why Ulmo seldom takes the flesh and goes to Aman only when a Council is being held
Relationships: Elbereth Gilthoniel | Varda Elentári/Manwë Súlimo, Manwë Súlimo/Ulmo
Kudos: 6
Collections: Least Expected





	1. Rain 1-4

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Least Expected](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected), which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Least Expected collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile).
> 
> Rain  
> by CC  
> November, 2002
> 
> The Valar and the Maiar belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, no profit made and no harm intended.
> 
> The story is set after the creation of Arda, when the counting of Time begins. The Valar are living in Almaren, and Ormal and Illuin have not yet been lit. Only stars illuminate the land.
> 
> Pairings: Ulmo/Manwe. Manwe/Varda implied.
> 
> Thanks go to Maybe, for beta reading this story.

Ulmo stirred under the water, moving along with the current and allowing his mind to drift. He was weary after the labors done on Arda, but he was also satisfied. The beauty of the flowing waters was more than he had imagined, and the vision Illuvatar had shown him seemed pale in comparison with the real thing. And Ulmo was part of that vision now.

The waters surrounding Arda had become his home, and the only place where he found peace now. It had not always been so. Before the count of time, Ulmo had found pleasure is music and songs. And in the company of his peers, especially that of Manwe. But this had changed. Varda had showed him that no matter how close his and Manwe's spirits had been, taking the flesh had changed it all.

Manwe was lost to him...

So Ulmo had chosen not to flesh himself like the upcoming children of Illuvatar, but to remain a spirit and reach every corner of Arda through the flowing waters. And in those times when he actually wanted to show himself, Ulmo would take the menacing form of a huge wave that would have destroyed Arda if he had so wanted it. But Ulmo had no intention of doing that, so after raising the wall of water as high as possible he would let it dissolve into a mist of foam, only touching Yavanna's creatures lightly.

Arda was not yet fully shaped, and the Valar occupied themselves with raising mountains and building valleys, and trying to contain the seas. Ulmo was glad to help and restrain Osse when needed, though he mostly left that duty to Uinen. The young Maia knew better than he how to contain her husband's impetuousness.

Trees and turf were growing on the riverbanks, and Ulmo had made sure that every root and every young sapling received sustenance from the waters. And now that he was resting he wished to find solace in the sounds of the Ulumri, the horns of white shell that Salmar had wrought for him. But he wanted to share this music with Salmar. The beautiful Maia was sitting on the other bank of the river, talking with Uinen and Osse.

Maybe he should join them...

But maybe not.

Ulmo's mind drifted once more to the period before time when the Ainur had not yet come into Arda, when Illuvatar had just shown them the beauty of his vision. Manwe had been so enthralled at the sight of it. Ulmo had felt the other Vala's delight at the prospect of having a full world to shape. Varda had been there too, but Ulmo had paid no mind to her. He should have. Only now Ulmo realized what a fool he had been.

He had believed that the closeness he shared with Manwe would survive their coming into Arda, and that they would build this world together. Ulmo had believed that nothing would be able to separate them. Not even Varda, who insisted on coming whenever Ulmo and Manwe were having a quiet moment, and who had slowly taken his place at Manwe's side. Ulmo had not thought that possible.

Ulmo had no love for Varda now, but it had been different in the past. There had been moments when together the three of them had explored the vastness of the Void, and sang beautiful songs they had learned from Illuvatar. Ulmo had even believed it possible to share, to welcome Varda in their company. But she had been aiming for something else. Something that had maybe been in Illuvatar's mind... Something that Ulmo could not comprehend.

* * *

There was Ulmo again, playing with the waters and helping Yavanna with her work. Manwe stood at Varda's side, watching as his wife wrought stars and hung them in the sky to illuminate the green land. But his eyes drifted to the place where Ulmo had just risen as a mighty wall of water. Manwe's spirit ached for Ulmo's company, but he had sealed his fate when he had chosen Varda over his former companion, when he had chosen her beauty and softness over Ulmo's harsh and stormy self. Manwe loved Varda, that he knew. But he loved Ulmo as well.

Did Varda know? Manwe was almost certain that she did. After all Varda had shared their company and laughed at Ulmo's antics, and soared the Void with them. They had been happy then, but something had changed.

Ulmo had refused to take the flesh. He had resisted any attempt Manwe had made to convince him; he had even mocked Manwe for wanting to encase himself in such a prison. Those had been Ulmo's words before storming away in rage. And it had been Varda who had stayed and taken the flesh just to embrace Manwe, and then she had done something he had not expected.

She had come closer and pressed her lips on his, and Manwe had felt intense pleasure flooding every corner of his new body. The sudden assault on his senses had clouded his head, and he had encircled Varda's slim waist, holding her even closer, kissing her once more and parting her soft lips. Instinct had taken over and they had shared the pleasures of the flesh for the first time. And it had been like being swept by a tidal wave, and that last thought had made him think of Ulmo.

A tidal wave. The wind howling along with the fury of the waters. A union not only of minds and spirits, but also a union in the flesh.

But that was not possible now, was it? He was wed to Varda. And he loved her. But then why did he long for Ulmo's company? Why did he spend hours trying to imagine strong and demanding hands roaming his body? Why had he dreamed of sharing his bed with his wife and his friend?

A hand on his arm shook Manwe out of his musings, and he turned around to see Varda's crystal eyes searching his. He smiled reassuringly, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

"Do you wish to talk to him?" she asked gently, her eyes drifting briefly to the place where Ulmo was rising and playing with his Maiar. Salmar had just got into the river and Ulmo was rising the lithe body in a mighty wave. Manwe could feel the first pains of jealousy tearing him apart. Salmar was beautiful, his long dark hair glittering under the light of Varda's stars.

"No," Manwe said quietly. "I have no wish to talk to him."

"It seems to me that you do not approve of his behavior," Varda continued, her eyes showing nothing but a mild curiosity. "Or maybe it is the company that troubles you?"

Manwe stiffened, glancing at Salmar briefly before turning his attention back to his wife. "They are good company for Ulmo," he said quietly. "They all love him."

"And do you not love him too, my lord?" she asked, a strange mixture of jealousy and understanding in her beautiful eyes. "I have been wondering why you seem so sad when you look at him..."

Varda knew. She had known all along.

"I love him, yes," Manwe admitted. "But I love you too."

"Then come with me, Manwe," she said softly, embracing him. "Come with me to our chambers and allow me to ease your pain until you decide to act upon it."

Manwe nodded, following his wife and wondering about the meaning of her words. Was Varda implying that she didn't care? Manwe knew not. But only now he realized how Varda had weaved her way into his heart, separating him from Ulmo. Manwe loved the lord of the waters, but he loved Varda too, and he didn't think it would be possible to have them both.

* * *

Ulmo rose as a mighty wave, once again carrying Salmar and holding him up like a most precious prize. The Maia was smiling, and Ulmo could feel the rush of anticipation coming from him every time the wall of water was about to dissolve. It was puzzling that Salmar would enjoy this game while being in the flesh, because he would always end up completely wet when Ulmo let him down. But Salmar would resurface and come back to him, waiting for the game to start again.

It was obvious that the Maia was having fun, and Ulmo realized that he was having fun too. Far too much fun for it to last. Ulmo would never understand why Salmar had taken the flesh, but at the same time he had to admit that the Maia was beautiful to look at. And Salmar was loyal. Nothing like Manwe, who had come one day and announced his wedding with Varda. Nothing like the lord of the winds, who had betrayed their friendship.

But there was no use in lingering on past pains now...

Manwe and Varda had retired, probably to share their love in their private chambers. Most of the other Valar and Maiar were gone too. Ulmo could see Nienna leaving, a young Maia following her. Even Uinen and Osse were gone; they had taken the flesh and walked away hand in hand. At least they were happy, Ulmo mused, and had enough sense to dwell in the water and not in a house. Even Salmar, who held his physical form for long periods of time, would escape the encasing flesh when it was time to rest.

"Do you wish to play some more?" Ulmo asked, gently lowering Salmar to the riverbank. "There is much work to be done next, and we are the only ones lingering here."

"Yes, we are the only ones, my lord," Salmar said softly, his face graced by a soft blush. "We should go to rest, but first I would like to play some music for you, if you would listen to me."

"Of course I would listen, Salmar," Ulmo said gently, watching his blushing Maia curiously. This was another strange things with these bodies, the way the flesh would turn pale or redden out of no reason. And Salmar was still blushing under Ulmo's scrutiny.

"Your music makes my spirit sing," Ulmo finally said, softening his gaze.

Salmar blushed even more and looked down, slowly taking a narrow cylinder out of his wet tunic. The cylinder was pearly white, and it gleamed eerily under the starlight. Ulmo looked at the strange instrument, wondering what it was.

"It is a flute," Salmar said, sensing his curiosity. "At least that is how I have named it," the Maia added with a small smile that made Ulmo feel warm inside.

"Let me play for you, my lord."

"Play for me, Salmar," Ulmo agreed. "I want to hear how it sounds."

Salmar nodded, and placing the flute against his lips he started to play. It was a sweet melody that spoke of the beauty of the sea. It was so very much like Salmar's voice, as Ulmo's voice was similar to that of the Ulumri. The music transported Ulmo to the moment when Illuvatar had shown him the rain, and the snowflakes, and all the different forms in which water could be found on Arda.

Ulmo relaxed, allowing the waters of the river to run as if it were a calm spring. His pain was fading at the sound of Salmar's music, and something new was stirring inside him. Something sweet and enticing. Something he could not allow to happen again. Salmar was beautiful and loyal, but that didn't mean that the Maia would be always with him. And there was the taking of the flesh again. Salmar seemed to like having a body, and that alone brought painful memories to Ulmo.

But the music was beautiful enough and Ulmo found himself reaching for the Ulumri and playing along with Salmar. The sweetness of the flute and the deeper tones of the Ulumri finally mingled, and the sounds of their song reached every corner of Arda, even the private chambers of those who were sharing their love.

Ulmo didn't care. Music had always soothed his pain. And now he was not alone, even if it was only temporary. Salmar was there and together they were adding to the beauty Illuvatar had devised.

They finally decided to rest, and Salmar let go of the flesh and entered the river. The Maia was tired, exhausted after all the work that had been done. Ulmo gladly gathered a half-asleep Salmar close, using the water around them as an enfolding cocoon. Smiling, he headed for the outer sea. Uinen and Osse would join them later.

* * *

Manwe watched Varda filling the lamps that Aule had wrought at Yavanna's prayer. The light of the stars was not enough to bring her creatures to full growth. He could feel Ulmo's presence in the waters surrounding Almaren, and he could see Salmar sitting on the riverbank and speaking softly to Uinen and Osse. Those three really loved their lord, and Manwe was glad for them, but at the same time he could not help but feel jealous of their closeness.

A closeness he had enjoyed before, and had forsaken when he came to Arda. A closeness that Salmar might be enjoying now. Manwe looked at the Maia, and for the first time since he had come to Arda, the lord of the winds knew anger and jealousy. The Maia was beautiful...

Manwe had heard Ulmo's and Salmar's music while he was resting in his chambers. Varda had fallen asleep in his arms after they had shared their love, and Manwe had been about to do the same when the sound of Salmar's flute had kept him from sleeping. Curiosity had won over caution, and Manwe had reached with his sight to find the Maia. He had seen the whole scene between Ulmo and Salmar, and the moment when the lord of the waters had gathered the beautiful Maia close.

This had shaken Manwe to the core, and it had taken all his self control not to go out and demand answers from Ulmo. He had no right after all. And what would Varda have done? Manwe shook his head, realizing that he was trapped, and that it had been his own making. If he had realized before how important Ulmo was to him... But he had been blinded by Varda's beauty, and, as he looked at the Vala, Manwe knew that he loved her too.

Was it possible to love more than one being? Would Illuvatar approve? It had seemed possible before they had taken the flesh, and Manwe had enjoyed his time with Varda and Ulmo. But these bodies seemed to be made for one mate, and Manwe had chosen Varda...

A hand on his shoulder shook Manwe out of his musings, and he realized that he had to hallow the lamps.

"The stars have illuminated Almaren and the rest of Arda for many Ages, and we have worked in unison, even battling the evil, to make this place habitable for the coming of the Children of Illuvatar. Illuin and Ormal will allow Yavanna's creatures to reach their full growth, and illuminate the paths of all the creatures living on Arda."

He watched as Tulkas and Orome hung up the lamps in huge pillars set on the north and south of Arda, and smiled when their lights mingled in Almaren. But his smile faded when the light caught in Salmar's hair.

"That Maia is really beautiful," Varda said, her crystal eyes fixed on the wall of water rising in front of Salmar. It was not the usual wall of water that signalled Ulmo's rising, Manwe noticed, but something else...

"Maybe Salmar will convince Ulmo to take the flesh," Varda continued, her gaze turned now to Manwe. "Love can do wonders for a hurt spirit."

"And what would you know about Ulmo's spirit?" Manwe asked slowly, forcing himself to look away from Ulmo and his blasted Maia.

"I know Ulmo resents me because he thinks I took you away from him," Varda said softly, her eyes as clear as the mingled light of Illuin and Ormal. "And maybe I did, but in the end it was your choice, my lord. Do you have regrets?"

Manwe froze.

"Regrets?"

Varda smiled, taking his arm and gently leading him away from the river.

"Do you have regrets about your choice, my lord?" she asked again when they were far enough from the others to have some privacy. "You look at Salmar as if you resent him keeping Ulmo company. Could it be that you would like to be in the Maia's place?"

"I could never have regrets about choosing your company," Manwe finally said, raising a hand as if to stroke Varda's cheek, but stopping in mid-air. "I do not have regrets," he said again. "I love you, Varda, and your company is precious to me. But I miss Ulmo's company, that you know."

"I know, yes," she said, placing a hand on Manwe's chest and looking into his eyes. "And I know that you love him. But you are my husband now, my companion, and you have to let Ulmo go. Unless you have regrets."

"I have no regrets," Manwe said softly, reaching now to stroke her cheek and slowly drawing her close. "If I had to choose again I would still be here."

But maybe, just maybe, he would have chosen Ulmo too...

Firmly pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind, Manwe leaned in toward Varda and kissed her, feeling at once the communion of spirit and body enveloping him. This was where he wanted to be, but he wished Ulmo were there too.


	2. Rain 5-8

Ulmo was alone, wandering around the southern part of Arda, his spirit lingering near the pillar where Ormal had been hung. Uinen and Osse had gone to explore the eastern shores, and they had taken Salmar with them. Ulmo smiled to himself. He could imagine the three Maiar dancing in the water at the sound of Salmar's flute, and he wished he had accompanied them. But he was feeling restless. Something was tugging at the back of his mind, something that he could not grasp, and it was disturbing him. His mind kept drifting to the ages before they had come to Arda, to the ages he had spent in the company of Manwe.

But it was better not to think about the past. Ulmo was healing, slowly letting go of his pain, and finding solace in Salmar's company. The Maia was so different from Manwe, so nave, and even sweet. It soothed Ulmo's pain to hear Salmar play. And the sight of the long dark hair framing such a perfect face was enticing. Salmar was like a new land to discover and Ulmo was starting to wonder if he would ever be able to...

"Ulmo..." Manwe's voice shook Ulmo out of his musings. The lord of the winds was standing before him, his long brown hair loose, his skin flushed, his beautiful eyes burning. It almost took Ulmo's breath away. Almost...

"I felt not your approach," Ulmo said calmly, managing somehow to feign indifference. He didn't want this conversation. He didn't want to be anywhere near Manwe.

"Why do you come to me in stealth, Manwe?"

"Because I feared you would leave if you sensed me coming. Because I needed to speak to you alone."

"So Varda knows not of this?" Ulmo was trying to keep a cold facade, but it was not easy with Manwe standing so close and looking so... lost.

"You should go back to her, Manwe," Ulmo said quickly. "You are wed to her and I am sure that she will not like this."

"Varda knows that I love you," Manwe blurted out, coming closer.

Ulmo froze, but it was only for a second. Anger rose in his chest.

"Say no more and leave me!"

"So you can go back to Salmar?" Anger flashed now in Manwe's eyes.

"Leave Salmar out of this!" Ulmo snapped. "What do you care if I find solace in his company? You left me, Manwe! You chose Varda over me!"

"I was wrong!" Manwe exclaimed.

Ulmo's eyes widened.

"I mean..." Manwe paused, obviously struggling to sort out his thoughts. "I love Varda, I mean not to say I was wrong to wed her. I was not. But I love you too. Please Ulmo, take the flesh and let me show you how I love you. Let me touch you."

"You are insane."

"This is no insanity but love," Manwe said softly, leaving the encasing flesh and coming even closer. "Leave not in anger, Ulmo. Just listen to me."

Ulmo could feel Manwe's essence all around him, enveloping him and clouding his mind, taking away his will to leave. Manwe was talking directly to his mind, speaking of ages past and weakening his resolve. And suddenly, Manwe took the flesh, and Ulmo did the same without even realizing it. Slowly his spirit took form, and he could feel the flesh encasing his spirit. He almost shied away, but the sudden flood of sensations was nearly overwhelming.

"You are beautiful," Manwe whispered, gathering him close. "So beautiful..."

Strong arms were holding him close, long fingers tracing patterns up and down his back. A strong arm sneaked around Ulmo's waist, the other hand buried in his long hair. Lips seemed to be everywhere, and Ulmo shuddered as he felt Manwe's insistent hands on him.

"Manwe," Ulmo breathed. "What do you do to me? This is wrong."

"It is not, my love," Manwe whispered in his ear. "This is right because we both feel this love, this passion."

It is not, Ulmo's mind screamed. But his body was not obeying his mind. And he loved Manwe still. Something new was stirring inside him. An urge to have more, to feel more, to make Manwe his... Ulmo gathered the other Vala close, stilling Manwe's hands and pressing his lips to the slim neck. The lord of the winds shuddered in his arms. Desire took over Ulmo, and soon he was trailing kisses along Manwe's throat and pressing the other Vala against the pillar that held Ormal.

Manwe had closed his eyes, surrendering to Ulmo's will, allowing him to take the lead. The warmth coming from the slim body was almost intoxicating. He traced Manwe's muscular chest, discovering things by mere instinct and by observing the other Vala's reactions. Ulmo brushed hardened nipples and Manwe let out a low moan, his knees almost buckling.

::Ulmo... I need you... I love you...::

::I love you too...::

Ulmo encircled Manwe's waist, taking him away from the pillar. The slim body melted against his, and soon it was Ulmo who was keeping Manwe upright. The hardness against his own was another surprise, and sensation intensified in that part of his body. The tunic Manwe was wearing seemed suddenly a thick barrier, and that was when Ulmo realized that he had not clothed himself.

He touched the soft fabric and slowly peeled it off Manwe's body, lowering the other Vala to the ground. The soft grass was bed to their bodies, and lying beside Manwe, Ulmo started to kiss him again. Manwe moaned softly, wandering hands teasing Ulmo's flesh and driving him insane.

"Take me," Manwe whispered, spreading his legs under Ulmo's body. And somehow his body knew what to do, sensations and feelings aided by instinct. Ulmo took Manwe, filling the other Vala and shuddering at the myriad sensations washing over him.

* * *

Manwe was not prepared for the feeling of Ulmo's member inside him, nor was he prepared for the pain. It was nothing to his previous experience with Varda. Physical love between two males was definitely different. As was Manwe's position. He had surrendered to Ulmo's lead, even if the other Vala had been acting more on instinct than on knowledge. Ulmo had taken him, and was now looking at him with a hint of uncertainty in his dark green eyes.

"Am I hurting you?" Ulmo asked breathlessly, peering somewhat anxiously at him. Ulmo's face was flushed, and Manwe could feel the pleasure coming from the other Vala in powerful waves. They could not stop now.

"A bit," Manwe whispered. "Just move..."

Moving should take care of the pain, Manwe hoped. If he could feel so much pleasure coming from Ulmo, there should be some pleasure in which to share. Manwe's musings were abruptly cut off when Ulmo encircled his member with a hand, and he gasped when the lord of the waters started to stroke it.

When Manwe moaned in pleasure, Ulmo started to move, slowly sliding out and thrusting back inside with amazing restraint. It was painful still, but as Ulmo started to slide out again his member brushed something inside Manwe, and the pleasure increased all of a sudden.

"Ulmo..." Manwe's hips bucked as pleasure assaulted his senses, and his head moved from one side to the other, his fingers digging mindlessly through the soft grass.

"Touch me," Ulmo said softly, and Manwe did as the other Vala asked, tracing patterns on Ulmo's chest and clinging to the strong shoulders as the lord of the waters rode him.

Pleasure was building steadily inside Manwe, and Ulmo's hand on his member was maddening. He was slowly losing control, and the world around him was fading until there was only Ulmo. Manwe shuddered when he realized how vulnerable his position was, and how much he had come to depend on Ulmo. Since the moment Manwe had seen Ulmo again after having wedded Varda, his life had become sheer torture. But now, now he was in Ulmo's arms, and everything would be all right again.

Ulmo was thrusting inside him with complete abandon now, and Manwe could feel his release approaching. He was drowning in a sea of pleasure; he was sinking deeper into the vast ocean that was Ulmo. And he was a willing victim.

Somewhere in a deep corner of his mind Manwe knew that he was being unfair to Varda, and that he had agreed to let Ulmo go. But he was not the master of his actions anymore. He would never be able to leave Ulmo's side.

Manwe finally came with a scream that Ulmo silenced with a rough kiss. And when Ulmo's seed filled his body, the lord of the winds shuddered uncontrollably. Pleasure flooded his senses, his body feeling like a tiny vessel struggling to navigate in a wild sea. There was no going back to the safety of the shore now, and Manwe closed his eyes allowing the current to take him.

And when the last waves of pleasure ebbed, he was suddenly enfolded in the warmth of Ulmo's embrace. Manwe's eyes were closing, and he knew that Ulmo would shield them both from prying eyes. He trusted the lord of the waters with his life.

::"I love you, Manwe,:: Ulmo whispered in his mind. ::Whatever happens now, know that I have taken you in love.":

Manwe wanted to ask the meaning of these words, but Ulmo was kissing him again until they were both breathless. And then his eyes closed, and Manwe slept, resting his head on Ulmo's chest. But the other Vala's words lingered in his mind, and in his sleep Manwe shuddered.

Varda's image filled his dreams, and the guilt for what he had done troubled Manwe's mind. Varda was his wife, his beloved one, and he had betrayed her. But Varda knew of his love for Ulmo, and the lord of the waters had been his beloved companion before the shaping of Arda. Only after Manwe had shown them the music had Varda joined them, shared in their company and moments of solace. Could they not share the same now that Ulmo had taken the flesh? Could it not be the three of them again?

Manwe's sleep became restless, and he tossed in Ulmo's arms. Why was he so afraid? He was back in the arms of his beloved, and Varda would have to understand. And what if Ulmo did not agree? What if this had been their first and last time? Manwe shuddered again, and started to move in his sleep. But loving hands smoothed his hair, and soft lips whispered soothing words in his ear. Ulmo was kissing his forehead and trying to calm him. But as he sank again into a deep sleep, Manwe realized that Ulmo was not going to stay.

* * *

Ulmo kissed Manwe's lips, and stroking the soft brown hair, he waited for the other Vala to fall asleep. Ulmo could feel the tension in the slender body, and he could feel the distress and pain in Manwe's soul. Ulmo wished he had restrained himself, but the damage was done. He had surrendered to Manwe's seduction; he had surrendered to the pleasure of the flesh. And now the lord of the winds was sleeping in his arms, trusting Ulmo to keep him safe.

But how could Ulmo keep Manwe safe from his own conscience? By coming to him, Manwe had betrayed Varda's trust; for Ulmo was certain that she knew nothing about this. Even now she was searching for her husband, trying to penetrate the mental shield Ulmo had set around them. It would be a matter of time before she put the pieces together and learnt of her husband's betrayal. And she might leave him then.

Ulmo didn't want this to happen. Not anymore. He had taken Manwe and make the lord of the winds his. But it had been a mistake, because as much as Ulmo loved Manwe, he would never trust him again. Ulmo didn't want to be hurt again. He would not survive the grief.

"And will you survive the grief of losing Varda, my love?" Ulmo said softly, brushing a stray strand of brown hair off Manwe's forehead. The lord of the winds was so beautiful that the urge to deceive himself and accept Manwe's love again was almost too much for Ulmo to bear. One word and Manwe would be his forever. But his heart would be forever divided.

"I think not," Ulmo continued, answering his own question. "You chose Varda over me. That must mean something..."

::Ulmo.:: It was Varda once more, and this time her power penetrated his shields. Ulmo strengthened his veil around Manwe, not wanting her to disturb his sleep.

::Stay away, Varda.::

::How can you ask that of me? It is my husband you have seduced! Have you no respect for the sacred bonds of marriage?::

Ulmo could feel her distress, but he could not feel sorry for her. Varda had intruded in their lives, and she had taken Manwe from him. Ulmo could do the same now and have his revenge. But he loved Manwe, and wanted him to be happy. And Varda was his wife, the one Manwe had chosen.

::He will go back to you if only you stay away now.::

Ulmo could feel Varda withdrawing, and he could feel her rage. It was directed at him and not at Manwe. Good. Ulmo didn't mind if Varda hated him, as long as she didn't hurt Manwe.

"Ah, love, how much grief could have been avoided if we had made the right decisions back then. But now it is too late, and I must let you go and break your heart."

Tears rolled down Ulmo's cheeks as he closed his eyes to sleep. This would be the last time he would hold Manwe close, the last time they would lie together. But nothing could be done. Manwe was no longer his. But as Ulmo closed his eyes to sleep he felt another mind seeking for him. A less powerful one: Salmar.

::My lord?::

Ulmo froze. His surprise had been so great that he had lowered his shields enough for the Maia to locate him. And to learn that he was with Manwe. Ulmo could feel Salmar retreating, shock and pain coming from him.

::You took the flesh for him...:: Pain came in waves now as Salmar's mind voice grew silent.

::Salmar!::

There was no answer, and even as Ulmo searched for the Maia he could feel Uinen and Osse begging him to stop. Ulmo sighed in defeat. It was better to let go for now and trust them to keep Salmar safe. He would do more harm if he pressed the young Maia. Ulmo strengthened his shields. What had he done? He had hurt the beautiful Maia. And only now he realized how important Salmar was to him. But Ulmo loved Manwe, he was certain of that. Then what was it that he felt for Salmar?

What have I done?

Ulmo sighed heavily, allowing the sleep to finally take him. He was confused and grieved. He shouldn't have taken the flesh! His mind was whirling with confused feelings, and his spirit seemed about to be consumed by grief. Whatever happened now, Ulmo had not only lost Manwe, but he had also lost Salmar. And the tears Ulmo was shedding now were for the Maia.

* * *

Manwe opened his eyes slowly, looking around and breathing a small sigh of relief when he realized that Ulmo was still with him. The lord of the waters was sitting beside him, elbows resting on knees, staring ahead with an unreadable expression on his face. The long silky dark hair was loose, and Manwe had to fight the urge to touch it and drag Ulmo down, claiming his lips in a kiss.

But Ulmo was not looking at him.

Something was wrong. Manwe could feel the pain and the sadness coming from the other Vala, and it disturbed him. Ulmo was hurting, and when he turned to look at Manwe, his green eyes were filled with sorrow. Alarmed, Manwe sat up, placing a hand on Ulmo's cheek, and scrutinizing the beautiful face.

"What is wrong, Ulmo?"

Please, tell me not that you have regrets. I will not be able to bear it if you have regrets!

The other Vala stared at him for a moment, and then slowly took Manwe's hand in his. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant the world to Manwe. Ulmo had taken the flesh for him, and was now giving and accepting the comfort their bodies could bring.

"Manwe..."

Slowly, the beautiful Vala kissed the palm of Manwe's hand, and closed his eyes, sighing softly. Only then Manwe noticed the dampness on the long black lashes.

"Ulmo? Talk to me, please. If I have hurt you in any way..." Manwe paused, the guilt he had been feeling since he had chosen Varda over Ulmo coming back in a rush and almost choking him.

"Have I lost all sense?" he whispered, looking down and resting his head on Ulmo's shoulder. "Of course I have hurt you. I have betrayed you, and betrayed myself. I chose Varda and wed her knowing that it would hurt you. I wanted to believe that you would understand, and that we could not be together as before. I was so wrong, and only now I have realized it. I could have waited, and tried to explain things to her. I could have..."

"Stop." The hand stroking Manwe's hair was gentle, but the tone was firm, if laden with grief. "Say no more, Manwe. This that we have done... we shall not do again. But it will be the sweetest memory..."

"Memory?" A shiver ran through Manwe's spine, and he withdrew, looking into Ulmo's eyes. "What do you mean, memory? This is the beginning of our new time together. Ulmo, you cannot leave after what we have shared here! I love you, and I know that you love me!"

"I love you, yes," Ulmo admitted calmly, his quiet tone making a deep contrast with Manwe's growing agitation. "This must not happen again, Manwe. Our time together is over, and it was not my decision but yours."

Ulmo's words were like blows, and Manwe gasped for air, his mind whirling as he tried to find a way to keep Ulmo from leaving him. He was trembling all over, and it was all he could do not to pin the lord of the waters to the ground and try to force him to stay.

"You cannot leave me now!"

"You have to realize," Ulmo continued, "That you are still wed to Varda. This is not right, Manwe. As much as I love you..."

"I will convince Varda," Manwe insisted, taking hold of Ulmo's arms. "You and I have been together since before the beginning of Time. We have been companions and friends! We have been as one. Varda will have to understand!"

"Do you want to risk losing her?" Ulmo asked softly.

There was something like hope in Ulmo's eyes, but it was faint, so faint that it didn't surprise Manwe that Ulmo took it calmly when he shook his head. He loved Varda. That he could not deny.

"I was certain of that," Ulmo said, reaching out to stroke Manwe's cheek. "I know that you love her, and I do not begrudge you that. Love is a wonderful gift as all that Illuvatar has given to us."

"But I love you too! Why can you not understand?" Hot tears were rolling down Manwe's cheeks, and he did not care to stop them. And when Ulmo gathered him close, Manwe could feel the knot in his throat growing until the pain was almost unbearable. It finally exploded in violent sobs.

"I am sorry, Manwe," Ulmo said softly, holding him tight and kissing his hair lovingly. "I wish there were a way..."

"Let me talk to Varda..."

"She will not understand," Ulmo said, brushing Manwe's tears away. His touch was painful and soothing at the same time and Manwe trembled even more.

"Hush, calm yourself," Ulmo whispered. "We have shared our love, and we will always have this memory. But this has to stop here and now. You chose your way long ago, and you chose to walk with Varda."

"And you will never forgive me for that," Manwe said bitterly. "You are punishing me."

"I am not."

"Then why do you not allow me to even try? How can you throw our love away without even giving it a try? Is it because of Varda?"

"I have no love for her, and you know it."

Manwe nodded slowly, but anger was rising now in his chest, and this anger was not directed at Ulmo. An image of Salmar was suddenly in his mind, and he saw the Maia smiling and playing the flute for Ulmo.

"I know it." Manwe's expression hardened. "But you are not being completely honest with me, Ulmo. This is not about Varda alone. This is also about Salmar."

Anger flared suddenly in the green eyes, and Manwe saw in this a confirmation of his suspicions.

"Leave Salmar out of this!" Ulmo's voice had changed, contained anger replacing the previous gentleness.

"Why should I?" Manwe snapped. "Even now you are thinking of him!"

"Of course I am thinking of him! Salmar is very dear to me!"

Manwe could feel the color draining from his cheeks.

"You love him!"

"Manwe..."

Ulmo stepped forward, as if to steady him. But Manwe shook his head, avoiding the contact. This was not because of Varda but because of Salmar!

"You made love to me, but you love that blasted Maia!"

"I love you!" Ulmo said angrily, taking hold of his upper arms. The lord of the water's hands seemed to burn Manwe's skin.

"Stop this, Manwe," Ulmo continued in a calmer tone. "We have suffered enough, both of us. Let us not part in anger."

Manwe shook his head and tried to break free, but Ulmo didn't release him. And little by little Manwe could feel the anger seeping out of him, intense pain replacing the previous feeling. He finally relaxed against Ulmo's body, and again he cried. And when the lord of the waters finally left, Manwe could feel the rain falling on Middle-earth for the first time, washing his tears away.


	3. Rain 9-10

Epilogue

Ulmo let go of the flesh and rose up into the sky, not quite reaching Vaiya, but lingering just above the clouds. Rain was pouring down on Middle-earth, cleansing the air and fertilizing the land. Yavanna would be glad.

The heavy downpour was also washing away the physical traces of Manwe's and Ulmo's lovemaking, though it would never be able to wash the pain away.

Only now Ulmo understood Illuvatar's words...

//"Behold the snow, and the cunning work of frost! Melkor hath devised heats and fire without restraint, and hath not dried up thy desire nor utterly quelled the music of the sea. Behold rather the height and glory of the clouds, and the ever-changing mists; and listen to the fall of the rain upon the Earth! And in these clouds thou art drawn nearer to Manwe, thy friend whom you lovest."//

Ulmo had felt such joy then, and he had thought of seeking Manwe and ask his friend to make songs with him about the beauty of Water and Clouds. Together they had soared the void, singing and laughing until Varda had come to them.

Had Illuvatar foreseen what would happen? Had he known that Ulmo would take Manwe? These questions boiled in Ulmo's mind. Being Illuvatar the One, and comprising both male and female nature in a single spirit, maybe he had not concerned himself with the issues that would arise when the Ainur took the flesh.

Ulmo could not stop thinking of Manwe. It had been so hard to leave the other Vala after having tasted the sweetness of his mouth, and traced the muscular body with his hands, making the lord of the winds shudder with pleasure. It had been so hard to hold Manwe so close before letting go of him. Ulmo would stay away now. But if Varda hurt the lord of the winds or rejected him, Ulmo would not hesitate to take Manwe from her forever.

It was time to seek his Maiar. Ulmo needed to find them, and make sure that they understood, and that Salmar was all right. The young Maia's pain had shaken Ulmo to the core. Uinen and Osse had also been shocked, but there had been acceptance in their mental touch. Salmar's reaction had been disturbingly different. Shock at first, and then an intense pain, and finally nothing but a deep weariness and sadness... Ulmo closed his eyes, praying that Salmar would listen to him. He would not be able to take the young Maia's rejection right now.

The rain had stopped when Ulmo landed on Almaren, and he took the flesh once more out of instinct. Somehow he had the feeling that it would help to have arms and hands this time. Ulmo was standing in front of his Maiar's house, and soon Uinen and Osse came to him.

"My lord," Uinen bowed her head briefly before looking up at him with fearful eyes. "Salmar is gone. We have tried to find him, but he is shielding from us."

Uinen's delicate features were pained. Osse was silent, the strain of the events showing clearly on his face.

"He is hurting," Uinen continued, taking Ulmo's hands in hers respectfully. "We know not what to do."

"I will find him," Ulmo said quietly, squeezing her hands lightly. The contact was oddly comforting.

"My lord." Osse stepped forward before Ulmo could vanish. "Salmar's spirit has been weakened by his pain. Please, be most careful with him."

It was unusual for Osse to voice his concerns, and this convinced Ulmo that he had to find Salmar soon. He nodded briskly and left, reaching with his mind for the dark-haired Maia. Salmar could shield from his peers, but not from Ulmo.

He found the young Maia sitting alone on the riverbank, his feet bare, his body barely covered by a thin wet tunic. Salmar's long dark hair was clinging to his face and neck, and he didn't seem to hear Ulmo calling him.

"Salmar," Ulmo called again, and without waiting for Salmar to react, he reached for the Maia, drawing him to his feet.

"My lord..." The beautiful eyes were glazed with sorrow, the smile gone from the perfect lips.

"You are cold," Ulmo said quietly, wrapping the slim body in a cloak. "Have you been sitting in the rain all this time?"

Salmar nodded, looking down and swaying slightly on his feet. Ulmo slid an arm around the slim waist, drawing the Maia closer.

"The rain was not harmful, my lord," Salmar whispered, resting his head on Ulmo's shoulder. Manwe had done the same, but this was a more fragile creature that Ulmo was holding in his arms. He couldn't help but stroke the silky damp hair and tighten his grip on Salmar in an attempt to warm the Maia's cold limbs.

"Come with me," Ulmo said, picking up the slim figure in his arms. "I am weary, and so are you. Let us rest in Uinen's and Osse's house."

Salmar nodded, closing his eyes in complete trust, his pale face still showing the traces of tears. Ulmo brushed the damp hair off Salmar's face and kissed his forehead. Then he headed for the shelter. He could easily fall in love with Salmar, but he should not. Love would only harm the young Maia.

He arrived at the house, and Uinen and Osse led him to Salmar's chambers. Once they had put Salmar to bed, Uinen offered to stay with him.

Ulmo shook his head. "I will stay with him," he said quietly. Uinen nodded slowly, but Ulmo could feel Osse's questioning stare. This one had always been quite bold, but Ulmo had no wish to deal with him right now.

"Leave us," he said quietly, and once they had obeyed, Ulmo turned his attention back to Salmar. The Maia's eyes were closed, but his uneven breathing was a clear signal that he was awake.

Ulmo sat on the bed, scrutinizing the pale face and wondering why he hadn't realized that Salmar was in love with him. Ulmo had been so focused on his own pain that he had not realized that his actions would hurt Salmar.

"Look at me, Salmar," Ulmo said softly, brushing the Maia's cheek with his fingers. The skin was slowly warming up. Good.

Big gray eyes opened slowly and looked at him from the pale face. There was pain in those eyes still, but there was no defiance or reproach.

"Salmar, I want you to know that what happened between Manwe and I was a closure," Ulmo said carefully. He was aware that the topic was embarrassing for both Salmar and himself.

"You need not say anything, my lord," Salmar said softly, blushing in spite of his pallor. "I have no right to..."

"To feel hurt?" Ulmo asked quietly. Salmar just nodded, his blush deepening.

"Friends feel hurt sometimes," Ulmo said, stroking the warm cheek. "But this need not be a shadow between us. I care for you, Salmar. Your company and friendship are most important to me."

"But you love him."

Ulmo closed his eyes and nodded.

"I love him, yes," Ulmo admitted, defeated. He would lose Salmar now.

I wish it were not so. I wish I could love you, but I cannot give you a heart that would be divided. I have no wish to hurt you.

"You will always have my friendship, my lord," Salmar said softly, taking Ulmo's hand hesitantly. "I will always be with you, and play for you until you send me away. You are important to me too, more than I have the right to say."

Ulmo felt a surge of tenderness washing over him, and he kissed Salmar's hand, vowing that whatever happened with Manwe, he would not hurt the beautiful creature that could love him with such devotion.

"Thank you," Ulmo whispered, placing his hand on Salmar's. "Now sleep. I will stay here with you."

Salmar nodded, and then he smiled.

"What is it?" Ulmo asked, lying beside Salmar and stroking the soft dark hair.

"You are beautiful," came the soft answer, and then Salmar moved closer, as if seeking for warmth. Ulmo felt the heat rising to his cheeks, blushing for the first time. And then he slid an arm around Salmar's waist, guarding the Maia's sleep.

* * *

Manwe stood and walked numbly until he reached Ormal's pillar, where Ulmo had kissed him with such passion and love. The brown-haired Vala shuddered, closing his eyes and struggling to make some sense of what had just happened. Ulmo had taken him, and Manwe had felt love and pleasure beyond measure. But Ulmo was gone, and with him part of Manwe's spirit was gone too.

The rain had stopped falling, and Manwe's clothes and hair were soaked, but he cared not about that. He could easily let go of the flesh and reappear somewhere with dry hair and new garments. But he had no will to do so. Not without Ulmo at his side. Not when all he had of his beloved was the memory of the rain.

Despair was growing in Manwe's soul, and anger. Why had he made such a mistake, sending Ulmo away when the dark-haired Vala was his soul mate? It all had seemed so simple then. Manwe loved Varda, and she had taken the flesh and given him her love. They had shared in the pleasure, and not only their bodies but also their minds had communed. But there had always been a part of Manwe's soul that Varda had not been able to fill. That part was Ulmo's.

And Ulmo was gone.

Manwe placed his hands on Ormal's smooth surface, wondering how he was going to go back to Varda's arms when the traces of Ulmo's hands still burned his skin. Would Varda understand? Would she despise him now? Manwe was aware that he had been unfaithful, that he had sought Ulmo even though he knew that it would hurt her. But he had been unable to do otherwise. Ulmo was too important for him to lose.

And yet you have lost him, and now Ulmo must be with Salmar...

Closing his eyes, Manwe searched for the Maia, shaking with anger when he found no trace of him. This had to be Ulmo's doing.

Why? Why can you not stay and yet you go to that damned Maia!

A dark feeling was creeping inside Manwe, something that had been growing since he had seen Salmar playing with Ulmo on the riverbank. Manwe wanted the Maia gone from Arda.

"And do you think Ulmo will agree to that?" a voice said behind him. Manwe turned around, surprised that someone else had picked up his thoughts.

"Orome."

"You are upset, and your thoughts can be easily caught by anyone who wants to listen. Like Varda."

Manwe froze.

"Or like me. But do you wish Ulmo to listen? Do you wish for him to know about your hatred for Salmar? Do you wish for Varda to know of this darkness?"

"Stop!"

"You are losing control, and you cannot afford to do that," Orome continued as if he had not heard Manwe. "You are the lord of this realm, and you need to lead us. Melkor is out there in the Void waiting for the right moment to come upon us, and destroy what we have done. You and Ulmo are the mightiest among us, and even if you cannot be lovers you need to be able to work in concert."

Manwe looked at Orome for a moment, slowly coming to his senses. What was he thinking of? Illuvatar had given him the command over Arda, and the other Valar, and the Maiar. Melkor was still out there, lurking in the darkness and ready to bring evil back to Middle-earth.

And Varda was his beloved. Manwe didn't want to lose her. But maybe that was out of his hands. If Orome had come to speak to him, Varda had to know about this. He reached for Varda now, finding her standing alone in the garden of their house in Almaren. Pain was flaring out of her in waves, and anger... But she closed her mind to Manwe as soon as she felt his mental touch.

"There is someone I have to speak to before fixing things with Ulmo," Manwe said, changing his wet clothes with a flicker of his mind. "Thank you."

Orome nodded, and the next moment he had disappeared from sight. Manwe did the same, and soon he was standing before Varda.

"You are back." She stood tall and proud, her dark hair the perfect mantle to her pretty face, her crystal eyes darkened with pain.

"Varda..."

"Say nothing about this, Manwe," Varda said quietly. "I am your wife and we have to govern this realm. Whatever happens from now on, it should not affect our task. We have to prepare the land for the coming of the children of Illuvatar."

Manwe nodded, knowing not what else to say. He could feel Varda's detachment, and it hurt. But he was not going to lose her. Even as he followed Varda to their chambers Manwe knew that she was not going to send him away.

"Know that I love you, Varda," he said, taking her hand in his.

"I know that, Manwe," Varda said quietly. "But I also know that our love was not enough to keep you away from him."

"I love you both!" Manwe said urgently, placing her hand on his heart. "I cannot change what I feel for him, but I love you so much that it hurts to see the pain in your eyes."

"You betrayed my trust. What do you expect me to do, Manwe? What did you think would be the outcome of such a thing? What did you expect to happen? Ulmo hates me. He holds me responsible for this, even if I was not the one who made the choice. But he loves you, and he is less willing to see the fault as yours."

"You are not responsible," said Manwe. "I made the choice, and I have no regrets about our union. But I wish I had seen before that I cannot live without him."

"Ulmo has Salmar now. You should realize it."

Manwe tensed.

"Salmar will heal the hurts in Ulmo's heart," Varda continued. "But who will heal yours, my lord? The trust between us is broken and I know not if this is something that can be mended. I love you, but I do not trust you."

"Allow me to stay with you, Varda," Manwe pleaded softly. "I will not ever hide my heart from you."

"Make no promises, Manwe," Varda said quietly. "Even now you are allowing your feelings for Ulmo to cloud your judgment on Salmar. You are wishing him ill. Make no promises and stay. Time will say what will become of us. For I, the same as Ulmo, love you. And I, the same as you with Ulmo, cannot let you go."

**THE END**


End file.
